A Polish man moved to the United States and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him – “very quick.”
The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Lawyer: “Have you any grounds?”
Man: “JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home.”
Lawyer: “No,” I mean what is the foundation of this case?”
Man: “It made of concrete.”
Lawyer: “Does either of you have a real grudge?”
Man: “No, we have carport, and not need one.”
Lawyer: “I mean, what are your relations like?”
Man: “All my relations still in Poland.”
Lawyer: “Is there any infidelity in your marriage?”
Man: “Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player.”
Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?”
Man: “No, I always up before her.”
Lawyer: “WHY do you want this divorce?”
Man: “She going to kill me.”
Lawyer: “What makes you think that?”
Man: “I got proof.
Lawyer: “What kind of proof?”
Man: “She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it says:
You might be wondering why this week’s blog post starts with a joke… Well, you may recall Attorney Aspenson’s blog post regarding his top 5 legal movies. Now, I’d like to present you with my top 5 legal movies. Being a lawyer can be stressful, emotional, and draining, so when I watch a legal movie, I don’t want it to be true to life. I want to laugh and be entertained, and because of that, my list of movies is vastly different than Attorney Aspenson’s.
Now, without further ado…
- Kramer vs. Kramer
This movie deviates from the entertaining/comedic value of legal movies. It moved onto my favorites list after I started doing Guardian ad Litem work (for more information on GAL work, read our previous blog post here). Kramer vs. Kramer debuted in 1979 and stars Meryl Streep and Dustin Hoffman. Dustin Hoffman won best actor for his role as Ted Kramer. The movie takes a poignant look into divorce and the effect on children that most people may not realize. I recommend this movie to anyone who is divorced (or going through a divorce) with children.
- Erin Brockovich
Erin Brockovich stars Julia Roberts and focuses on a class action law suit. This is a classic David vs. Goliath movie, based on a true story, that is entertaining from the start. Erin Brockovich is a single mother and legal assistant who takes on a California power company accused of polluting the city’s water supply.
- Intolerable Cruelty
Number three is a lesser known comedy that stars George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Clooney plays a prominent divorce lawyer famous for his “Massey Prenup.” An unbreakable, iron-clad prenuptial agreement for wealthy clients who are getting married. Clooney meets his match in Catherine Zeta-Jones’s Marylin Rexroth, his client’s gold-digging soon-to-be ex-wife. The movie has comedic moments from front to end and the chemistry between Clooney and Zeta-Jones is undeniable.
- Liar Liar
A classic movie that shows what happens when a divorced lawyer’s son blows out his birthday candle with the wish that his dad, played by Jim Carrrey, couldn’t lie for one day. Carrey plays an incredibly successful lawyer who has built his career on lying at the expense of the relationship with his son.
- War of the Roses
And then there was one… This movies is pure entertainment. The Roses are getting a divorce and each party wants the marital home. Michael Douglas plays Mr. Rose and his counterpart, Mrs. Rose, is played by Kathleen Turner. The movie is told from the perspective of Danny DeVito, the attorney for Oliver Rose. Simply put, it is a vicious battle to the end. The tagline for the movie is: “Once in a lifetime comes a motion picture that makes you feel like falling in love all over again. This is not that movie.”
Clearly Attorney Aspenson and I’s opinions regarding great legal movies vastly differs. What’s your opinion? Please comment on our Facebook post!